How Do You Feel About “Moving On”?
With the pandemic seeming to end, we hear about getting back to “normal."
During our Grief Care and Share support group on Friday, I mentioned to the members that we seem to be getting back to normal, that the difficult days of the pandemic seem to be ending.
I asked the support group members: Given your grief, how does it feel to hear the message that we’re “moving on”? The question sparked a great conversation about our regrets, unfinished business with our family members who died, and our worries about our family members dying alone.
For those of us still in a caregiving situation, we too can struggle with moving on and getting back to “normal.” Many of us feel like we’re still in a crisis because we can’t find help. For many, life during a pandemic mirrors life during caregiving. The pandemic may be ending, but our caregiving experience may still keep us in.
I’d love to hear your insights and experiences. Given your caregiving experience, how do you feel about the message that “we’re moving on”?
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!
(Image by Holger Detje from Pixabay)
Caregiving in itself doesn’t fall into the perceived idea of normal. Caregiving for me is doing everything twice. Bathroom, coffee meds, cleaning both our eyeglasses, making coffee, washing our faces and dressing myself and Paul. It’s like dressing twice only the second time is more complicated because of his right side deficits. Spontaneity isn’t an option although P always manages to want to do things out of the clear blue sky which involves a para transpo which has to be booked in advance that part doesn’t come into his equation for him and then he’s disappointed.
In Canada it’s taking longer. Vaccines were not as organized as the States with Joe Biden. We’ve been in the apartment more than out. Yesterday we were working in the rose garden which I’ve managed to get a few volunteers to help. It’s Paul’s design and we’re co chairs of the committee. He’s a brilliant gardener so not being able to get his hands in and dig is certainly not normal for him.
After 15 months of Covid and lack of socialization, he’s become crabbier which isn’t his style.
Even with Aphasia he’s very funny but I think it’s taking it’s toll. Which in turn takes its toll on me. We’ve been married for 46 years and had our own business together. He was athletic, a cyclist and a ski patroller. Incredibly intelligent and still is and so articulate. It will be 11 years this July that he had a stroke.
So I have no idea what normal is anymore. I just go with the flow and do my best. Finding this forum is great. We haven’t parents and no family where we live. Our friends are brilliant
but I truly believe that the day to day ups and downs are really understood by people who do do this for their family members.
Maybe I should eat another cookie lol